The life of each person develops from different age stages and periods, whether it be childhood, puberty, youth and youth, as well as middle and old age. As practice shows, for men, the average age of 35-45 years becomes the most difficult, there is a reassessment of values, a change in thinking, physiological and hormonal changes. All this has a term in medicine — a midlife crisis in men.
Unfortunately, statistics show that during such a crisis, many men are deeply depressed, divorced, instilled bad habits. In practice, even a considerable number of cases have been recorded when, experiencing a crisis, men ended up committing suicide. Therefore, you need to be prepared for what a midlife crisis is and when it begins, as well as know the basic techniques for overcoming it.
What is a midlife crisis?
Few men know for sure when and how a midlife crisis begins, but its effects and developing symptoms are felt by everyone. Due to the male character and behavioral patterns, most men hide their condition, and also do not discuss the accumulated experiences and depression with loved ones. Although for most of them it is a great psychological stress.
A midlife crisis is a milestone at which a man already has a certain social position and status, social circle and family. But at the same time, specific nuances affect his psycho-emotional background. The man begins to think about what he has gained over the years, what is left behind, being skeptical about his successes and achievements. As a result of these experiences, depression develops.
Then comes a period of reassessment of values, when the desired dreams and goals are already perceived differently, and some global goals are perceived as a myth and something unattainable. There is a comparison of oneself with younger men, physical changes in the body are noticeable, the consequences of overwork and weakening of the body. In the mirror, you can see gray hairs, wrinkles or extra centimeters where the muscles once were. All this leads to a loss of optimism.
When does it occur in men and how long does it last?
Experts insist that every man should know in advance when a midlife crisis is coming to be prepared for potential problems. In medicine, this period is called the male menopause, when hormonal changes occur in the body, the synthesis of sex hormones decreases, which leads to changes in physiology. On average, menopause begins at 35-40 years.
Another important question that you need to know for sure is how long the menopause lasts. On average, psychologists note that such a period lasts from 3 to 6 years, it all depends on genetics, the characteristics of the body and psyche of a man, as well as how skillfully he copes with changes. Not the last role in this is played by the competent behavior of the wife, relatives and friends of the man.
The main points that a man evaluates and worries about them are family, career, position in society and his own authority.
Causes
To understand what to do as the midlife crisis sets in and how to overcome all the consequences of this period, it is important for a man to determine the causes of its onset and correct them. Also, depending on the provoking factors, methods of dealing with the crisis are indicated. The reasons may be as follows:
- excessive interest in their external data;
- secrecy and isolation;
- tendency to sentimentality;
- anxiety about tomorrow;
- health concerns;
- irritability, nervousness and scandalousness;
- stereotypes and socially imposed judgments;
- decreased sexual activity and worries about it.
A man can often compare himself with other men, but younger, assessing his physical condition, success and other factors. In addition, natural physiological and hormonal changes occur in middle age, which can cause anxiety and even fear.
Symptoms: how to determine?
For many men, the symptoms and signs of a midlife crisis can vary significantly, depending on how old it started. Therefore, the signs of how the crisis manifests itself are classified into two groups:
- Crisis symptoms after 30 years. A man begins to think that time flies, and it may not be enough for some serious actions and changes in life. Therefore, during this period of time, he is prone to committing rash actions and slightly inappropriate behavior. A man rushes from one extreme to another, can show himself unrestrained and aggressive.
- Symptoms after 40 years. During this period, the male midlife crisis manifests itself much brighter with pronounced signs. Among the people there is even such a saying «forties-fatal». In a man, the production of sex hormones decreases, libido and sexual activity decrease, and he himself becomes sensitive and receptive. A deep depression develops, insomnia, lack of appetite, lethargy, loss of strength, apathy and bursts of negative emotions can be observed.
If you do not decide how to help a man during this period, you can stretch it for decades. With the right attitude to the problem, support and assistance, correction of the condition, a man can survive the crisis with the least symptoms within a year.
Aftermath
If a man has not found the strength to go through the period of crisis with restraint and understanding, unpleasant consequences may develop for his psycho-emotional and physical state of health. This often happens because the man and his wife do not know how to help in the fight against the crisis.
The consequences can be entirely different:
- Beneficial Consequences. If a man understands that his wife loves him, children respect and listen to him, everything is stable and good at work, the period of crisis may not be long and asymptomatic.
- Adverse Consequences. If a man is not satisfied with any sphere of life or everything at once, he is prone to cardinal changes in work, family relationships, friendship, etc. In a new life, at the first failures, a man can fall into a deep depression, rush from extremes to extremes.
For reference! Statistics show that it is during a midlife crisis that men cheat on their wives, get divorced in search of a young lady for self-affirmation, but often do not succeed and plunge into deep depression. At this age, the risk of alcohol dependence is high.
How to overcome a midlife crisis?
Psychology considers the midlife crisis as turning points in the life of every man and depression, while medicine calls it the male menopause. You can get out of this state as early as possible if you find the best ways to deal with the crisis. Psychologists and psychotherapists will tell you what to do and how to overcome the crisis. Experts give the following recommendations:
- in front of a man, you can’t say words about age and crisis, it will only cut his ear;
- it is worth eliminating quarrels, disputes and scandals in family relations so that a man does not question the correct choice of his wife;
- men in this period need a listener, it is important to establish complete trust so that a man does not withdraw into himself;
- in the presence of deep depression, you need to consult a psychotherapist, it is important to persuade him to go to a specialist;
- a man wants to see a self-confident and successful woman next to him, it is important for a wife to monitor her appearance and show feelings for her husband;
- intimate life should become passionate thanks to the efforts of a woman, so that a man does not experience discomfort due to his own lack of sex hormones and low libido;
- sharp attacks and antics of the husband should be treated with restraint and understanding.
In a family, a man wants to be a leader and authority, so all decisions must be trusted to him, prompting or advising only his opinion. You can get out of a state of depression only by rebuilding your thinking into a system of optimism and self-confidence. If the work is burdensome, you can change it, trying to see only the good sides in everything. Particular attention should be paid to the mode of work and rest, sleep, nutrition and physical activity.
Conclusion
The midlife crisis eventually passes on its own, it depends on the man and his actions how easily and imperceptibly the menopause proceeds, how long he can pass, and also with what consequences he can survive it. Many women do not even know what a midlife crisis means for a spouse. Although, the behavior of a woman largely determines how quickly and how easily a man will survive this difficult stage in life.
