What is discommunication and how to deal with it?

Thanks to communication skills, each person grows, develops, learns and gains new knowledge, after which he finds his recognition and teaches the new rising generation. It is no secret that communication brings pleasure and positive emotions to some people, while for other people, due to isolation, it causes a feeling of discomfort. Discommunication is the intentional avoidance of a conversation in general or discussion on an unpleasant topic.

Situations when a person had to communicate with an opponent on an uninteresting and difficult to digest topic are familiar to many. If currently a person resorts to all sorts of methods of avoiding the topic and ending the conversation, psychologists talk about discommunication. As the problem worsens, the person begins to suffer from consequences such as inhibition of serious issues and difficulty making decisions.

What is discommunication?

From childhood, each person is invested with basic and necessary communication skills for further fruitful and easy life. Communication is a verbal and non-verbal way of transmitting information and receiving it, the exchange of emotions, impressions and new knowledge. Discommunication is the antonym of the concept of communication, that is, one of the violations of communication skills in communication.

Psychologists today distinguish several varieties of discommunication, namely:

  1. «I’m too good/bad to discuss this.»
  2. «You’re too good/bad to discuss this.»
  3. “You are smart/ugly/fat/living abroad because of this….”
  4. «I am proud/self-sufficient/tired of life/adult, because of this…».
  5. “When I see this, I feel…”.
  6. «The topic of conversation is too good/bad to discuss.»
  7. “This statement offends my picture of the world/political views…”.
  8. “Here is why it is not necessary to discuss it: …”.

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It would seem that a slight violation of communication skills and live communication between people, but later it can lead to serious disorders. Often, opponents do not just avoid the topic of conversation due to some unpleasant emotions, but rather communicate around the topic, which also applies to the term discommunication.

Where is this term often found?

It is especially important for people who are faced with such a concept as discommunication to determine the places and circumstances in which it most often occurs.

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Knowing the areas of risk, it is possible to prevent a violation of communication or eliminate it in a timely manner. The most common environment that accompanies discommunication is everyday communication or conversation via the Internet.

Particular attention should be paid to the difference between discommunication in live or virtual communication. In a face-to-face conversation, discommunication methods are most often used to divert attention from an unpleasant or uninformative topic, while discommunication on the Internet serves as a way to draw attention to oneself or the topic of conversation.

Ways to deal with discommunication

The fight against discommunication begins, as a rule, if a person has a persistent discommunication syndrome. Then we are not talking about isolated cases, but about a constant and stable violation of communication, which can be expressed in several forms:

  • a feeling of loneliness in a circle of people and the desire for contacts, but the impossibility of finding an interlocutor;
  • communicative helplessness, when there are interlocutors, but there is no way to make and establish contacts;
  • conflict communication, when contacts with the interlocutor are needed to defuse aggression;
  • weak desire for contacts, fatigue from communications, intolerance to communication in general, complete isolation in oneself.

The main way to deal with discommunication is complete focus on a specific topic of conversation, as well as informative preparation for this topic against the background of ignorance. At the same time, a person during a conversation needs to turn off thoughts and feelings about his appearance and appearance, believing in himself and his internal and external attractiveness. You can reduce nervous tension and worries with all sorts of oriental practices, whether it be meditation or breathing techniques.

Psychologists’ advice on getting rid of discommunication consists in simple points and actions:

  • do not attach importance to the assessments and judgments of the people around you, you need to sometimes turn to indifference;
  • in order for speech to be clear and competent, you need to constantly develop, learning new facts and information;
  • in all sorts of ways, a person needs to constantly increase his self-esteem, for this you need to set goals for yourself and gradually implement them in life;
  • it is better to minimize Internet communication, giving preference to live communication filled with emotions and feelings;
  • The best way to improve communication skills is to have real friends and their support.

Another way to get rid of anxiety is to speak out loud all your fears that prevent you from fully communicating with people. According to psychologists, the fear brought out and voiced immediately loses its significance. When speaking in front of many people, you can eliminate the excitement by saying it directly to the audience. And any communication should not be taken so seriously that one conversation causes many negative emotions.

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If the discommunication syndrome is observed not in oneself, but in the interlocutor, the only way to deal with the violation will be to return the conversation to the topic. To achieve this, you need to gently but persistently indicate to the opponent that he has deviated from the topic by saying something like «I think we are somewhat distracted …». On the Internet, it is better to leave such manifestations for other people without a reaction, so as not to heat up the “conscious off-topic”.


Discommunication is a fairly common disorder that can occur in isolated cases or as a persistent syndrome that requires correction. It is best to deal with the problem under the control and supervision of a psychologist or psychotherapist. The main task is to reduce the degree of anxiety and excitement during communication, increase knowledge, self-development and self-acceptance.

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