The girl communicates with the former: how to react and what to do?

Although in a relationship with a girl there can be a complete idyll, her communication with an ex-boyfriend becomes a big problem and grounds for quarrels. Experts advise being attentive to the behavior of the girl, but not to control her in all actions, words and deeds. Not knowing what to do when a girl communicates with an ex, how to react to such behavior, many men destroy relationships.

In fact, communication with an ex-boyfriend is not considered such a big problem, because of which young people can quarrel or break up. To begin with, the couple needs a frank conversation, during which the motive for such behavior, the goals and format of communication with this guy are clarified. As well as the risks that this connection hides. Based on this information, the man will understand whether he should limit this communication.

Why is a girl talking to her ex?

The situation in which the girl began to communicate with her ex-boyfriend, due to her delicacy and delicacy, requires careful study and investigation. It is difficult for men to take any action, on the one hand, they don’t want to seem distrustful and suspicious, on the other hand, this is a clear sign of disrespect in his direction, and the worm of doubt still haunts.

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Knowing for sure why a girl communicates with an ex, a man will be able to find an excuse for her behavior. And there can be several reasons, for example:

  1. A way to prove that a girl is not an empty place. If a girl still has feelings for an ex-boyfriend, her current boyfriend can be a tool to prove that the girl is always in demand and popular.
  2. Desire to return to the ex-boyfriend. It’s rare for a woman to end a relationship without a fallback option. It happens that a new guy is used only to get over a breakup with a loved one.
  3. The ex-boyfriend understands her. If there are years of living together and strong relationships between former lovers, then for sure they have become close people for each other. But with the current boyfriend, there is no such kinship of souls, besides, the girl is not ready to open up to him, preferring the former as a vest and support.
  4. Revenge on the current boyfriend. Often continues to communicate with an ex-boyfriend only to take revenge on the too loving current chosen one, who does not deny himself communication with the opposite sex.
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Other reasons include communication, as a way of manipulation, a variant of causing jealousy for the current guy, if passion has faded in the relationship. There are also quite adequate and understandable reasons for a man, for example, the circumstances under which you have to communicate if former partners work or study together, etc.

What if a girl treats her ex like a friend?

In the case when a girl communicates with the former as with a friend, the current guy first of all needs to maintain self-control and sobriety of mind, not succumbing to anger, jealousy and other emotions.

Psychologists advise giving time for emotions to subside, and then perform a series of actions:

  • Conversation. The best solution to the question of what to do if a girl communicates with an ex is a frank heart-to-heart conversation. During the dialogue, a man needs to avoid accusations against her, control and any provocations of negative emotions. The man has to explain that her behavior is perceived by him as disrespect, so he asks to change the situation. Be sure to ask about the motives and goals of such communication.
  • Ultimatum. If, after the conversation, she continues to communicate with her ex-boyfriend, the man needs to be firm so as not to be considered weak-willed in her eyes. Obviously, only an ultimatum will show who is dearer to her, the current or former boyfriend.
  • Current boyfriend talking to ex-boyfriend. Sometimes, if it is impossible to get out of such a situation, you just have to talk like a man with an ex-boyfriend, perhaps in a dialogue a man will learn a lot about his passion.
  • Attention. Sometimes girls provoke men with such actions only to attract attention to themselves, playing on a feeling of jealousy. A man only needs to give her the same attention, affection and care that will solve the problem.
  • Conversation with her friend. Sometimes, when communicating with your girlfriend’s girlfriend, you can find out the true motives, because of which she prefers to keep in touch with her ex.
  • Parting. If her communication with an ex-boyfriend causes a hurricane of negative emotions, excitement and stress, and she does not take any action, most likely this relationship is doomed.

Should you limit communication?

If a girl has good reasons to communicate with an ex-boyfriend, it is not always advisable to limit her in this. For example, if they study in the same institution and even in a group, they still have to communicate, regularly intersecting in class. If a man puts pressure on her, the lack of trust always leads to a break in relations.

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To understand the format of communication with an ex-boyfriend, you can get to know him yourself, spend time together to push bad thoughts out of your head. And only if the girl is deceiving or not telling something, and does not respond to the request to limit herself in such contacts, the man needs to put the question point-blank — either I or he. This way of solving the problem will show who she has true feelings for.


In rare cases, young people who have already broken up manage to maintain good friendships. Much more often, exes simply stop talking, especially if they are in a new relationship. Therefore, many men will not like the fact that a girl communicates with her ex. Psychologists advise talking to understand her motives, to explain her attitude to such communication, thanks to which there will be a way out of the situation.

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