The most common reason a relationship breaks down is cheating or hiding the truth. And after such a serious offense, if a partner committed it, a reasonable question arises of how to return the girl’s trust in order to preserve the relationship. Psychologists advise all couples faced with the problem of mistrust not to give up and look for ways to restore harmony.
The initiative and efforts should come primarily from the delinquent. And if this is a man, you need to win the girl’s trust in stages, following the valuable instructions of psychologists. At the same time, it should be understood that women are initially distrustful and cautious persons, and after the deception and misconduct of a beloved man, it is much more difficult for them to restore the previous level of relations.
How to regain a girl’s trust after a lie
If a man is genuinely puzzled by the question of how to win the girl’s trust, he needs to be prepared for an emotionally costly business. But you need to fight for a relationship when there is a clear vision of a shared future, family and children with this woman. Otherwise, it is impractical to glue the broken cup, sooner or later the crack will make itself felt again. You need to return the girl’s trust with words, promises, and accompanying actions.
Apologize to girl
The first thing to start your way of correcting mistakes is to apologize to the girl. And no matter what caused such a split in the relationship, ridiculous stupidity, deception or even treason, a man must necessarily apologize to the one who was hurt. In such situations, you need not think about yourself, but understand how much pain the man caused to his chosen one.
You need to apologize as follows
- just the word “sorry” will not be enough; repentance should be sincere and from the heart;
- during an apology, you need to look the girl in the eyes, pronouncing the words slowly and clearly so that she feels the man’s attention in her direction;
- in the matter of apologies, it is not the quantity that is important, but the quality of the words spoken;
- in the course of the apology, it must be said that it is excruciatingly painful for the man himself to realize how much pain he has caused the girl.
It is important that the words of apology are really spoken in a format in which people usually admit they are wrong. You need to monitor your facial expression, intonation and tone of voice, look, you can take a girl by the hand to melt her heart with tactile sensations.
Explain why this happened
Further, to make it easier for the girl to accept the reality of the problem, the man needs to explain the reasons leading to the misconduct. Perhaps the man went to the deception with good intentions, in order to save the girl from information unpleasant for her. Or maybe the man was driven by a feeling of shame, because of which he did not dare to tell the truth. Explaining the reasons for the misconduct, the girl will see the realization of her partner’s responsibility for the misconduct.
Thanks to the explanation of the reasons for the misconduct, the man already shows the degree of his frankness and the correction of the state of affairs, that is, the willingness to speak openly about everything. A girl, knowing the motives of a man, will be able to feel the severity of the offense and the hopelessness of the situation. If we are talking about treason, the man needs to think carefully about whether the explanation is appropriate or whether it will offend the girl even more.
Promise that this won’t happen again
If a man does not know how to earn the girl’s trust after cheating or betrayal, psychologists advise starting with an apology and promises that this will not happen again. Sincere promises can somewhat melt the ice in the heart of an offended girl, but if a man is not sure that he can fulfill them, you need to postpone such words, having worked on yourself first.
Promises should be made as follows
- no need to say words in vain, all promises must be conscious and come from the soul;
- the girl must understand that actions will be much stronger than words;
- a man needs to memorize every word said in a promise format to show further that he is a man of his word.
On the way of realizing the wrongdoing, apologies and promises, a man needs to be ready for retaliatory actions from the offended girl. The answer in the form of blow and revenge can be verbal or physical, the main thing is to accept and understand that all this is deserved.
Act on the promise
A promise is the least that a man can do to remedy the situation. Another thing is to fulfill all the spoken words in the near future. The girl must actually see that her partner is working on himself in order to maintain the relationship. You need to become a collected, responsible and serious person, frank and honest with your chosen one.
Next, you need to return trust according to the following plan.
- The girl needs to be given free space and time so that she cools down and thinks over the words of the guilty one. Do not call, stomp at her door, literally choke her with your presence.
- A man needs to be patient, wait for a decision from her and the slightest first steps in his direction.
- A girl needs to show her reliability, be useful to her in various difficulties and lend a shoulder for support.
- A man needs to be always available to her, always answer calls and messages, not disappear from her field of vision, so as not to cause mistrust even more.
- Sincerity is the main key to success in regaining the girl’s trust, it is better to speak honestly about your experiences and feelings in order to be understood by her.
After a betrayal or deception, a girl will need some time to survive the situation, take it for granted and consider whether she needs a relationship with this man in general. A man, on the other hand, requires not to put pressure on her, in every possible way to show his readiness for any action, gradually drawing closer to her without undue obsession.
What if you can’t get trust back?
If a man does not cope with the tasks from psychologists, how to earn the girl’s trust after an offense, it is worth resorting to additional advice and recommendations. Namely:
- A man needs to show a girl how special and valuable she is to him. To do this, you need to be gallant and attentive, to compliment the girl about her appearance, to pamper her with presents and flowers, to ask her opinion on various occasions, to interest her in life and affairs in every possible way.
- A man needs to open up to his chosen one, telling something important from his life, some secret facts. She will see trust on his part, honesty and a willingness to be extremely frank.
- You need to be honest not only with the girl, but also with yourself. If a man feels that there is strength and readiness to fight for relationships and changes in himself, all the steps described earlier should be taken from specialists. But if he doubts that this is exactly the woman who will become the wife and mother of his children, there is no need to try to be someone else without a purpose.
Experts say that trust can be restored for a long time, making all sorts of attempts. If there is no response, there is no need to despair, show the girl your torment, all the more nervous and pressure her with a decision. To be worthy of respect, you need to boldly and confidently accept both defeat and victory, preparing in advance for different outcomes of the situation.
How to win the girl’s trust for the first time?
If a girl first encountered her partner’s misconduct and mistrust, but up to this point the relationship was close to ideal, the chances of maintaining the relationship are much greater. To do this, you need to do the following:
- the offended side should be allowed to let off steam, without showing aggression towards her, on the contrary, keeping calm;
- girls love with their ears, therefore, verbal admission of guilt and remorse is extremely important (not by correspondence or in a conversation on the phone, but face to face);
- having made a mistake, a man needs to maintain a sense of dignity, behaving appropriately (no need to engage in self-destruction, causing pity);
- after a frank conversation, the girl needs to be given time to reflect on the situation;
- positive emotions are extremely important in order to cover the consequence of a misconduct; this requires pleasant surprises, compliments, courtship.
Even if the girl has forgiven her chosen one, for some time he will have a kind of «trial period» when she will monitor his behavior and work on herself. This state of affairs must be treated with understanding, realizing that the man deserves it.
If a man, being in a relationship with a girl, committed a serious offense, he risks losing her affection and trust. Returning trust is an emotionally and energetically expensive business, it takes time, apologies, promises and accompanying actions of a man, and most importantly, work on oneself. An offended girl can refuse steps to meet him for a long time, but if there are feelings and the prospect of a serious relationship, a man needs to be patient.