If family relationships collapse overnight, any crisis can be resolved. This opinion is declared by leading psychologists for both women and men. Complicates all, the presence of joint children. If the spouse became the initiator, a loving man does not give up, but is looking for ways to return his wife and child.
The search for the reasons for its solution, as well as theoretical, practical, folk-ways to restore relations, can help with this. You will learn about all this, as well as how to prove the sincerity of your feelings and prevent common mistakes, in the article below.
Reasons for leaving a wife with a child
Relationship psychology teaches young and experienced couples that both partners are always to blame for any problem. So, in a situation where the wife and child went to another, how to return her will be prompted by an analysis of her own misdeeds. Statistics calls the following reasons for the gap:
- abuse of bad habits;
- marriage entered into at an early age;
- moral, physical violence;
- jealousy, lack of trust in relationships;
- domestic, financial difficulties without a solution.
Due to their emotionality, women are prone to quick, thoughtless actions. If you are looking for ways to bring her back into the family with common children, find the problems, your own shortcomings, and ask yourself if you can fix them. Subject to strong feelings, you can safely fight for marriage.
How to get your beloved wife back
To begin with, realistically assess your chances, how real is the return of your spouse and previous relationship. Again, statistics will help with this, she says the following:
|Reason for breakup||Percent chance of recovery|
|Long term regular cheating||15%|
|Moral suppression of her personality||13%|
|Husband's lack of independence||28%|
After that, you can safely begin to draw up a plan of action. If you follow the recommendations of a psychologist, these will be theoretical and practical advice. The most persistent cunning guys also lean towards folk methods.
An ex-husband is a constant concept if there are children in common with him. Therefore, the probability of recovery and the chances are quite high. In order not to go into the jungle of reasoning, throw out a plan of practical actions right away, soberly assessing how capable you are of actions. Psychologists recommend the following:
- Give her time to be alone with yourself, calm down. You can make an appointment 1-2 months after the break, her departure. If you refuse, you can appeal with the desire to spend time with the child. An adequate woman will do this for the child.
- You can give her a small gift as an apology for causing your relationship to fall apart. Make such a gesture for her and for the child, accompany him with a smile, words of repentance, promises to change.
- Do everything to help her in any even small problems? For example, pick up a child from kindergarten / school, take it to sections, walk more with him to give her the opportunity to relax. Any good deeds will benefit, change the microclimate of your communication.
- Realize how you change. Think about what she disliked most about you, eradicate it. For example, you earn little. In this case, find a new promising job or part-time job. If you had bad habits, tie them up once and for all. Show it to her, you can inadvertently mention it in a conversation.
- Take the blame, even if she wasn't an "angel" either. Apologize, highlight any wrongdoing, so she can see your understanding of the situation. But do not go too far, do not humiliate yourself, begging her to forgive you.
- Bring new emotions into communication. For example, you can unobtrusively show romance, invite her to a meeting in an interesting place. Find something that reminded you of your first feelings.
Theoretical advice will help you mentally tune in to the right mood, self-confidence. To all of the above, you can add the following:
- Show her that you, too, have a hard time going through a breakup. But at the same time, do not cause pity, as this is a road to nowhere.
- Don't manipulate your child as the only reason for a second chance. On the one hand, he can help you see her more often, but on the other hand, show that you are no less interested in her.
- If at first she does not allow you to communicate with the child at all, do not jump to conclusions. Most likely, she is driven by a sense of resentment. After some time, make new attempts to meet.
- Show her how much you improve as a man. Show your readiness for a serious relationship, your self-sufficiency, self-confidence. Let all changes be visible.
- Think about what exactly she lacked while the family existed. This will help you find recovery keys.
What to do if the wife does not believe in the sincerity of your feelings
Children's laughter will return to the house again with the love of your spouse, if only she believes in the sincerity of your feelings and intentions. But how can this be achieved? Loving Man appears in the following:
- he respects his chosen one, does not allow rudeness, insults, and even more so does not use physical force against her;
- care is shown, assists in any even minor situation, substituting his strong shoulder;
- hears all her needs, desires between the lines, tries to translate them into reality, but at the same time does not please her;
- accepts it as it is, does not expect cardinal changes, does not impose its point of view;
- appreciates the time spent next to her, can postpone any business to meet;
- puts it in first place in his life, demonstrates its significance.
The main thing for any woman is attention. It manifests itself in lively communication, care, interest in her affairs, help in any difficulties.
How to behave after the return of his wife
When any of the presented means and methods worked, that is, the spouse returned to the family with the child, it is important not to relax, but to build the right model of relations. The erection of a new family fortress is started by a man, here it is important to rely on experience, understanding of previous mistakes.
What is important to do:
- forgive, let go of all grievances, claims to each other;
- learn to negotiate without scandals, without testing each other's patience;
- do not continue the dialogue if the partner is experiencing emotional stress;
- adhere to a policy of compromise, yielding to each other in turn;
- distribute evenly the area of responsibility;
- participate in the lives of children mutually, without shifting all the worries to the mother;
- respect, support each other, do not look back.
It will be easier to restore relations if everything is discussed at the initial stage. These points must be followed by both the husband and his wife, regardless of who was to blame for the breakup.
The main mistakes made by a man after the departure of his wife
Divorce is not a sentence, but only an impetus for a man who wants to save his family. Not everyone succeeds in returning a woman, many make a number of mistakes, for example:
- Too accommodating behavior. You don't have to agree with everything, follow her lead. She will quickly get tired of it, and perhaps she will not respect you at all and stop loving you. It is important to find the golden mean here.
- Every man's enemy — logic. If the wife was the culprit of the breakup, you should not prove it to her, give arguments against. Refuse notations, better forgive and let go of all grievances.
- Lack of romance. Any chance of reunion should be taken as the beginning of a new relationship. Therefore, give her gifts, flowers, small souvenirs. You can't buy love, but you can melt your heart this way.
- self carelessness. The appearance of a man should always be neat, neat, attractive. Any changes in the image will push her to pay attention to you with a fresh look.
- Listening to the advice of family or friends. Not always these recommendations can be useful, objective. You can listen to people, but the opinion should always be your own.
If she managed to stop loving you (do not cool down), only in this case you can fold your hands. Also, not every guy will be ready to fight for the family, where the wife went to her lover. Otherwise, everything is fixable if you follow the advice of experts and your heart.