In life, there are often situations when a guy loves a girl, but only agrees to the role of a friend, having no alternative. This can lead to the wrong model of behavior of a man in relation to a girl, her lack of sympathy, as well as a number of external factors and circumstances. Psychology considers a number of actions and ways how to get out of the friend zone for a guy, interested in the girl as a man.
If a man initially agreed to the role of a friend, but in time made attempts to switch to a romantic mood of the relationship, this is quite logical and normal. But by prolonging the period of friendship, you can gradually reduce the likelihood that a man will be able to leave the friend zone altogether. And due to competition, you can simply lose your chance, so it is worthwhile to resort to the advice of specialists in time.
Basic rules of how not to get into the friend zone
To understand whether it is possible to leave the friend zone and become more than just a friend for a girl, you need to take action and take initiative. The main thing is to drop the hopes that very soon the girl will consider him a good and loving guy. Nothing happens just like that, any result will be the outcome of actions. And in order not to look for ways to get out of the friend zone, a man needs to know the basic rules of how not to get into it initially.
The main reason why a guy sooner or later becomes just a friend for a girl is the lack of attempts at tactile contact and physical intimacy. That is, young people go on dates, spend time together, they are comfortable and interesting with each other. But the guy does not try to hug, kiss the girl, and he also does not tend to have sexual intercourse.
At first, this behavior is fully justified by respect for the honor and dignity of the girl. But sooner or later she herself will wait for touches and kisses, and simple communication will quickly get bored. A girl can decide for herself that her partner does not like her, and even under the condition of further communication, she will begin to look for another potential chosen one. This will be the beginning of the friend zone through the fault of the man and his indecision.
Accordingly, the main rule is how not to become friends of a girl, a young man needs to take timely steps towards bodily rapprochement. If at first she refuses tactile contact, you need to wait a little more, but not postpone the intimacy indefinitely. With repeated refusals, we can conclude that the problem lies in the girl herself, the man is required to gradually reduce the distance between them.
How to understand that you are in a friend zone?
To prevent getting into the friend zone, a man needs to know the main reasons for getting into it. Psychologists identify 5 misconduct guys, because of which they become good friends, not lovers. Namely:
- lack of flirting;
- indecision of a man;
- indulging a girl in any decisions and actions;
- excessive spending time together;
- the man does not show his sexuality.
Psychologists also call the signs of a friend zone for those guys who cannot independently understand who they are for a girl. There can be several signs, for example:
- She discusses girlfriends and other young people with a man.
- She often tells a man that he is a good person and a great guy.
- She can meet a man’s friends, but she does not show him to her friends.
- She refuses tactile contact.
- The man did not show his serious intentions for the future of the relationship.
- A man will be there when she needs it, but you can not expect help from her.
- She casts glances at the other guys.
- The man turns into a vest for tears and complaints.
- There is no conversation about relationships between young people.
- If sex did happen, but was under the influence of intoxicating drinks only once.
The signs of a friend zone can be single or complex at once, in any case, a man needs to urgently take action to get out of it. Otherwise, very soon he may see her with another man, more decisive and proactive.
How to leave the friend zone?
It is possible to determine whether it is possible to leave the friend zone by how the girl reacts to the topic regarding the relationship. If she immediately declares that initially she can only be friends, this is a decision already made by her, which will be difficult or even impossible to change.
You can get out of it if you take the following actions in time:
- No need to dissuade a girl from making a decision.… It is foolish for a man to beg her while looking pitiful and sad.
- No need to stop communication or reduce it to a minimum… This will only cause a feeling of resentment in her, respectively, the position of a friend and the impossibility of a relationship will only strengthen. Also, you do not need to behave yourself like an offended person, having lost her respect against this background.
- No need to sharply close the distance, climb up to the girl with sexual innuendo… You can try to act with her like a friend, sharing, for example, thoughts about other girls. This can inflame the feeling of jealousy in the girl and the realization that this is not really friendship after all.
You need to act in the direction of the girl and exit her friend zone on time, but gradually without haste. To do this, you need to analyze the reasons that contribute to the girl’s friendliness to the guy, and then you should change yourself and your communication format, reducing the distance.
What do we have to do?
The subsequent actions of a guy who seeks to leave the friend zone will be aimed at changing himself, his behavior and the format of communication with the girl. Psychologists advise you to do the following:
- You need to not show your feelings and affection for the girl. You can imagine that the girl is actually just an acquaintance, not arousing much interest.
- The man himself needs to become the most interesting interlocutor, to communicate with her on all sorts of topics. It is good if in the course of communication a sense of humor, charisma of a man, erudition and intellect are involved.
- A man needs to become a standard, developing in himself all those qualities and traits that girls are looking for in potential partners. That is, you need to become strong, sturdy, pumped up, smart, beautiful and stylish, successful and decisive. You need to find out the type that the girl prefers, and then adjust yourself to him.
- You need to become independent. That is, if a girl called a man a friend, one should abandon courtship, changing the tactics of behavior. This does not mean that the man will stop spending time with her, he just needs to be cut back by going about his business. A girl should not see a man’s suffering, this will only aggravate the situation.
- Despite the friendly format of communication, it is necessary. By using gallantry and demeanor, words of praise and encouragement, an emotional bond can be created between young people. But at the same time, you do not need to look at her with loving eyes, showing more coldness.
Girls tend to act according to their mood, and as psychologists say, these are rather fickle personalities. Under the influence of circumstances and when a man’s behavior changes, a woman may look at him with different eyes.
How to stop being a friend and start dating?
Separately, experts offer effective ways to get out of the friend zone for a guy with the prospect of further relationships. To do this, it will be enough to learn and undertake the following:
- Become a man… You don’t need to act like a helpful girlfriend, feel sorry for her and assent in everything. The man will show that the discussion of girlfriends or even other guys in his presence is inappropriate, you can simply make it clear that he is not interested in this topic at all.
- Talk only about each other. To tune a girl into a relationship, a man needs to communicate with her only about him and about the girl herself, or better in the context of “we”.
- Mark the distance. She needs to be shown that she needs to run with tears and complaints to a friend, and not to a man. He can only cheer her up, distract her with another date, hug and kiss her.
- Dating other girls until she agrees to date a man. Since a man is only a friend to her, he is free to choose new companions for himself, and if she begins to be jealous, it is worthwhile to immediately discuss the format of their relationship.
- Continue courting. In relation to the girl, you need to be attentive, polite and slightly courteous, but without undue manifestation of love.
If a man is trying in every possible way to become more than a friend for a girl, but all of the above methods do not change her opinion, most likely, this is simply not his girlfriend. There are a lot of beautiful, smart and promising women in the world who are ready for a serious relationship. Obsession with one simply delays the moment of meeting his future wife.
Leaving the friend zone is actually not so easy, especially if the girl did not initially perceive the man as a potential partner. But this does not mean that a man needs to fold his arms and do nothing. Psychologists offer a ton of advice and behaviors that can turn all of her views and beliefs.